it’s a deep, deep monday morning.
some people buy material objects to feel good about themselves. cars, handbags, new tellies or even cats. i have to admit, not only do some material things make me feel good about myself, once i’ve acquired them, but they make me happy.
others would rather spend money on their family to feel good through the happiness it brings to their family. heck, i feel pretty damn good about myself when i bought a new bed for miss callie and bought one for kc’s kitten too. it made me extremely happy to see that black smallie making good use of her bed. the fact that she knows it belongs to her is equally gratifying. my siblings probably feel as pleased as i do when they buy me stuff.
is it different when people use money to make others like them?
yes, for one.. you can hate yourself, but you have to live with yourself forever, since you have to deal with yourself for that amount of time, you must love yourself a liiiittle bit, right? and family, well. in most cases, it’s unconditional love, so it’s just a bonus when you receive nice things. even if they gave you a poo in a paper bag, you wouldn’t hate them forever for it, would you? this is a bad example, i know.
i’ve seen it all before. in fact, when i was younger, i know that’s why people were my friends. it’s sooo easy to buy people’s affections when you have money.
this brings me back to when i was on course in kl and we had to list 7 values and rank them in order of importance. it was pretty hard, but everything became so clear after that task. we were also told to list 3 defining moments in our lives. 3 key moments that have made us who we are today. i quite happily and easily listed down the 3. if we were doing these for ourselves, and being at our most honest, it isn’t that hard a task to complete. i’ll share one defining moment with you, my dear readers. as it isn’t such a personal one.
“When my parents bought me a personal computer”
yes, and with the birth of the internet, that is why i have a career in IT today. that is the direct result. my other two defining moments actually tie in with each other. separate occasions, different phases of my life, different people involved. but there is a common theme.
so, a result of another defining moment which i can’t easily share publicly.. i am more humble. can you imagine what i’d be like if i could still buy my friends? to this day, i am thankful for what had happened to me in my teenage years. why suddenly my friends parents were saying, “you are not to be friends with that one, she’s just trouble.”
i am grateful for having learned that lesson at a younger age, so i wouldn’t make the same mistakes at this age. so i wouldn’t have people laugh behind my back out of their happiness and gratification that they could get something out of me without actually having to like me.
if you think i’m selfish because i like to buy stuff for myself, it’s only because i love myself more than i could ever love my own friends. therefore, the gratification i get from buying myself something is much more than the gratification, or simply, just happiness, i’d get from buying something for a friend. apart from that solid reason alone, i also do that because at least i can trust that i won’t like myself only because i can afford to buy nice things. 
if any of my family is wondering why i buy stuff for myself more than them.. don’t get me wrong, i’d be more than happy to buy you guys stuff… i just don’t know what to get you.
so, now we’ve reached the conclusion of this post, i’d just like to say.. this trait of thinking that you can buy people? it’s just one more quality you saw in me and thought would be good to adopt for yourself. or to better put it… you’re. just. like. him. it’s good to know the truth and that karma is a bitch. 
i thank God every day that every single person in my family wants nothing but the best for me and always tries to show me the right path. in their own ways. whether i seek advice or not, they’re there to make me the best person i can be. i know some qualities are hereditary[like the example above], unfortunately i’ve got my mum’s temper and knack for accumulating things. fortunately it isn’t anything worse than that. i’m still working on those, therefore i’m thankful to have e<3. if i didn’t, i doubt i’d be able to see beauty in patience and God’s will, or the lack of beauty in accumulating things!! neater is better. less is best.
see the recurring themes? family, family, family. that is why it is my number one value. if you think you’re in, think again. family comes first.
this is what you get.
I’m sorry I haven’t gotten you a present and I’m sorry we don’t have any special plans for today[why is that anyway???]
What’s not to love about good food, working hours from 7am-1pm, waking up in the middle of the night to EAT :D, naps in the afternoon. I even enjoy terawih!